A sampling taken from “Common Threads”.
I had a lot of time to search the dark places in my mind while I was sitting beside Justin’s hospital bed and haunting the halls of the hospital, questioning my actions, my decisions, and my intentions. If it’s predictable, it’s preventable. What could I have done differently? How could I have changed the path Justin chose to travel? That’s where the whole philosophy of the human’s gift of free agency comes in. We all have the opportunity to make our own decisions, our own choices, for our own reasons. People don’t change until they reach their own personal inflection point—and that’s usually a point where something very painful happens to encourage that change. It doesn’t matter how much we love our children and how clearly we can see that they are making choices that will not be in their best interest; we can’t control them indefinitely.
What did I learn from this life-changing experience? Family is more important than any occupation or career goal; time seems to stand still when a loved one may not see tomorrow; you can’t force an adult to do something against his or her will; you must plant positive seeds when a child is very young. And I learned that being available with unconditional love is a wonderful gift for anyone.
What did Justin learn? He’s been given a second chance at life, and he has no intention of wasting it. If someone were to ask him what September 5, 2002, means to him, he would answer, “It’s the day I almost died and the day I was reborn.”
Sometimes no matter how hard you try to help and how clear your logic seems to be, other people have their own criteria for making changes in their lives, and some times life itself makes changes you could have never imagined. It’s been observed that people don’t change until their pain is great enough, and sometimes you make changes based on other people’s pain. We are creatures of comfort and usually need to be prodded to do something that is difficult or new, even when it’s in our own best interest or the best interest of a loved one. Fortunately, we are also easily bored, and for some of us, that boredom translates into the initiative for stepping outside our comfort zone and trying something different. I’ve written the next profile as more of a timeline than a story. I’ve done this because this format emphasizes the extreme highs and lows and snags life can throw at you even though you are making good choices, doing the right things, have great mentors, and enjoy wonderful family relationships. Sometimes life tests your warp and weft beyond your capacity to comprehend.
